Daylight
by Coopereid
Summary: Based on Maroon 5's song 'Daylight'. Spencer and Derek have been in a relationship for three years and kept it well hidden from the team, because of the strict anti-fraternization rules. When the two of them are caught and told to end their relationship, how do they handle it?
1. Chapter 1

Spencer and Derek had been in a relationship for the past three years, and the difficult part was keeping it hidden from the team. In the bureau, they had strict rules on fraternizing with fellow agents, and neither of them wanted to end up in hot water. When they had been together for two years, Garcia had spotted them getting an ice cream together, and Spencer had worried that they were busted. However, she promised to help them keep it a secret as much as she could, and after talking Spencer down, Derek was able to convince him that their relationship was fine.

One afternoon, Derek had convinced Spencer to have an outing to the movies. Ever since they had been caught by Garcia, he was wary about making any plans that involved the two of them going out in public, but Derek would always assure him that they could play it off as just two members of the team spending time together, not to mention that they'd be in the dark at the movies with little to no chance of being caught. As always when Derek picked, it was an action movie, where Spencer would bite his tongue to not show off inconsistencies.

After Derek bought the tickets, he walked up to Spencer, handing one to him. "Do you want to go save us a couple of seats while I grab the popcorn?"

He nodded. "Can you pick me up some Red Vines and a bottle of water?"

"I think I can handle that." He wrapped an arm around Spencer's waist, pulling him closer and kissing his cheek.

Spencer blushed, shoving him away. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"I'm looking forward to it."

He rolled his eyes, checking the ticket and walking to the theater. A few minutes later, Derek sat next to him, putting a water bottle in the cupholder on Spencer's other side and lifting the armrest between them.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Getting comfortable," Derek told him, shifting closer and wrapping an arm around him.

"But-"

Derek put a finger to his lips. "It's dark and nobody can see us, don't sweat it."

Spencer sighed before leaning closer to him as the previews started.

Once the movie was over, Derek kissed the top of Spencer's head, rubbing his arm, before getting up and picking up their trash. "What did you think of the movie?"

Spencer shrugged. "Typical Derek Morgan movie selection: cars, scantily clad women, explosions, a barely there plot, and a big, muscular man who saves the day. To be completely honest, I feel like you owe me dinner for wasting the past two hours of my life."

Derek smirked, shaking his head. "You really didn't enjoy a single second of the movie?"

He thought to himself. "I enjoyed spending two hours with your arm wrapped around me, if that counts."

"I'd say it does." He walked down the stairs and threw away their trash, before turning to Spencer. "Where were you thinking for dinner?"

"I'm thinking Italian… we could always just go home and make something that Rossi taught you to make."

"I think I can treat you to something that isn't done wrong because I missed a step in his 52-step spaghetti."

"52? Derek, that's a bit of an exaggeration."

He took the car keys out of his pocket. "Maybe, but I don't have a problem taking you out for a change."

Spencer bit his lip before reaching down, grabbing Derek's hand and squeezing it before lacing their fingers together. Derek smiled, squeezing his hand back and walking over to the car, unlocking it and getting in.

While they waiting for their food, Spencer moved his chair closer to Derek's, finally getting to a point where he was comfortable with the two of them being out in public.

"Can I help you, Pretty Boy?" Derek asked, taking a sip of his water.

He smiled slightly, reaching over and lacing his fingers with Derek's. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Convincing me to come out tonight. I'm having a great time."

Derek leaned over, kissing Spencer's cheek. "Anytime. I'm fine with doing this again sometime."

Spencer smirked, blushing. "I'd like that."

"I'm sure you would."

The waitress walked over, setting down their plates. After Derek thanked her, Spencer moved his seat back over, picking up his fork and eating.

When their meals were finished, Derek turned to him. "How about we head home, get in the hot tub, take a shower, and call it a night?"

"That depends."

Derek looked at him, confused. "On?"

"Will that shower be alone, or will it be together?" Spencer asked, standing up and pulling on his jacket.

Derek laughed to himself, shaking his head. "When's the last time you showered alone at my place?" He saw the wheels turning in Spencer's head and put up his hand. "Rhetorical question." He wrapped an arm around Spencer and walked out of the restaurant, neither of them caring about being caught in that moment.

* * *

At Derek's place, Derek opened the back door to let Clooney run around in the yard while Spencer grabbed a bottle of wine and a few glasses. After the two of them changed, they went into the backyard, taking the lid off the hot tub and getting in. Spencer poured them both a glass of wine and sat back, leaning his head on his shoulder.

"Yes, dear?" Derek asked, running a hand through his hair.

Spencer smiled, swatting at his chest. "I'm just getting comfortable."

Derek took a sip of his wine before wrapping an arm around him. "Fine by me. Did you have fun today?"

He nodded slightly. "It was great, thank you. I don't know why I was so worried about us being caught. You're right, we shouldn't always be paranoid about it. We should be able to have outings and have fun without having to worry about something so stupid."

"Wait a second."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Say I'm right again."

He rolled his eyes before sighing. "You, Derek Morgan, were right."

"I could get used to that."

While they were in the shower, Derek was focused on getting clean, while most of Spencer's focus was on Derek. After Spencer had cleaned himself up, all of his attention went to Derek's neck, kissing and biting wherever he could.

Derek bit down on his lip. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Mhm," Spencer mumbled against his neck, kissing it softly.

"You have to be careful not to leave a mark," Derek reminded him.

"I always am," he whispered, before biting down on Derek's earlobe, leaning against his back.

Derek moaned softly before turning around to face him. "Safe to say we're not getting much sleep tonight?"

Spencer shrugged. "We _do_ have work in the morning, but I can be sure we're asleep by a reasonable hour. Besides, this is one of the reasons coffee was invented."

"Really?"

"Actually, coffee goes as far back as the thirteenth century, and could've come from Ethiopia, Kenya, or maybe even Sudan, and-" he was cut off by Derek's lips against his and smiled, leaning against the shower wall and wrapping his arms around the bigger man's neck, attempting to wrap a leg around his waist as the water was beating on Derek's back.

Derek pulled back a few minutes later, licking his lips and shaking his head.

"What?" Spencer asked, catching his breath.

"You have had more than enough injuries, and I'm not going to have you explain to the team that you busted your head open in the shower because you were trying to figure out shower sex."

Spencer scoffed. "Like I wouldn't come up with a good lie to cover it up?"

Derek smirked, turning around and turning off the water. "Like what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I was thinking while I was in the shower, slipped, and hit my head?" He saw the look of disbelief on Derek's head and gasped. "What?! It's believable, it nearly happened three weeks ago."

"Yeah, and you're lucky I was there to catch you, or we would've spent the night in the ER, explaining to several doctors and nurses that you were naked in the shower and busted your head open. _They_ would've thought otherwise, and so would the team."

Spencer reached for a towel, drying himself off. "Are you going to spend tonight with me, or would you rather spend it on the couch, prying the foot out of your mouth?"

"I get your point," Derek said, stepping out of the shower and drying himself off. "Just let me get Clooney out one last time, then I'm yours for the night, deal?"

"I'd say that's fair." Spencer pulled on his robe, walking toward Derek's bedroom and closing the door.

Derek shook his head, pulling on his own robe and walking to the backdoor, whistling for Clooney and sliding it open.

When Derek came back inside, he locked the backdoor and gave Clooney a dog treat, before walking to the bedroom. He found Spencer sitting up in bed, a book in his hands. He shook his head, sitting beside him.

"So I've lost your attention to," he peeked around and checked the title of the book, "_Atlas Shrugged_? You haven't read that one before?"

"The last time I did was when I was eleven, so it's been a while," Spencer mumbled, turning the page and putting his bookmark in, setting the book on the nightstand beside him.

"…You read _that_ book at eleven?"

"Cover to cover in one sitting, actually," he said, taking off his glasses and setting them on top of his book.

"I had to read it in college and you read it at _eleven_?"

"Yes, Derek, at eleven. Would you like to spend the rest of the night discussing my already known reading speed and the novels I've read over the years, or would you rather spend said time together?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

Instead of a verbal answer, Derek leaned in, kissing Spencer softly. Spencer smiled to himself, wrapping an arm around Derek's neck. He always enjoyed when Derek started off their nights with something as simple as a little kiss. He slipped his tongue into Derek's mouth, reveling in how great he tasted. Without the act of discarding clothes, their night moved along at a fast pace. Spencer appreciated how quickly things moved along with them when he wanted them to, but when he wanted it to go slow, Derek excelled at that as well. Since they had work in the morning, it was one of the fast nights, and Spencer didn't mind one bit. It wasn't long before he was screaming Derek's name as loudly as he could, collapsing against the bed and panting.

Derek smiled, catching his breath and kissing Spencer's forehead. "I think you need another shower, Pretty Boy."

Spencer ran a hand through his hair, nodding.

"…And maybe to have the coherency fucked back _into_ you."

He shook his head, backhanding Derek's chest and giving him a quick kiss. "I'm going to take a shower. Are you going to be awake when I get back?"

"For you? I think I can manage."

Spencer walked back into the bedroom ten minutes later to see Derek's eyes closed, leaning back against his pillows. He smiled, sitting beside him and pulling the blankets over himself. He moved closer to Derek, kissing his cheek and resting his head on his chest.

Derek shifted slightly, blinking a few times and looking down at Spencer, before wrapping an arm around him. "I'm awake."

Spencer laughed. "I'm sure you are." He wrapped his arms around Derek's middle. "You can sleep, we'll have a better cuddling session tomorrow."

"I'll take your word for it," he mumbled, kissing the top of Spencer's head before taking a deep breath and letting his eyes slip closed again.

As soon as he heard Derek snoring softly, Spencer smiled to himself, before slowly drifting off himself.

* * *

The next morning, they went through their usual morning routine. Derek woke up an hour before Spencer so he could go for a run and do some weight-lifting, then get a shower in before Spencer even thought about getting out of bed. He would then turn on the coffee and grab the newspaper and set it at Spencer's seat at the kitchen table, along with his coffee mug, ready to be filled when Spencer would venture out. Derek sat at his own seat, enjoying a bowl of cereal and reading the sports section, leaving the rest of the paper for Spencer to read through.

Spencer walked out of the bedroom, running a hand through his hair and sitting down. Derek reached over, pouring him his first cup of coffee and pushing the sugar bowl toward him. "Good morning."

"Sore morning is more like it," Spencer mumbled, putting several spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee before stirring.

Derek smirked. "I told you we could've taken it easy last night."

He shrugged, rubbing his eyes with his palm and yawning, before picking up his mug and taking a sip of the coffee. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Do you expect me to call in sick?" He put up his hand to mimic his phone. "Hi, Hotch, yeah it's Reid. I'm not going to be in today. Why? Because my ass hurts."

"…I think I'd pay to hear you make that phone call."

Spencer shook his head, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. "Definitely not happening."

After eating breakfast and reading the paper, the two of them would get dressed. Some mornings, Spencer would have Derek drop him off at the train station so they could go in separately. On the mornings where they drove in together, Spencer would tell the team that his knee was acting up and he didn't want to aggravate it. Every time, they understood, and nobody ever questioned it. This was one of the mornings where Spencer decided to just drive in with Derek and packed up his bag, double-checking to be sure he'd remembered everything.

"You sure you don't want me to drop you off at the train station?"

Spencer looked up at him. "With how sore I am, you're really going to make me walk all of those stairs and fight somebody for a seat, then proceed to walk a half mile back to the station after work?"

"Good point." He grabbed his car keys off of the hook by the door, twirling them around his finger. "Ready to go?"

Spencer put up his finger, tying his shoes and checking the laces, before putting his bag over his shoulder. "I am now."

"One thing first."

Spencer groaned. "Derek, what did you forget and how late am I going to be for work? I have seventeen case files waiting on my desk, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get at least another fifteen before the day is up."

Derek shook his head, hooking a finger under Spencer's chin and kissing him. Spencer smiled before pulling back, patting his cheek.

"I love you, but I'm not going to be late for work."

Derek snapped his fingers. "I should've known."

He smirked. "Yes, you should've." He kissed Derek's cheek before patting it, walking out and making his way to Derek's car.

As soon as they parked at the FBI building, any sign of the two of them having a relationship was erased, and they instantly became Morgan and Reid instead of Derek and Spencer. Spencer got out of the car, following Derek inside and pressing the button for the elevator.

"You two drive in together this morning?" Garcia asked, walking up and handing a cup of coffee to Spencer. He held it up to thank her before taking a sip.

"Yeah, Pretty Boy's knee was acting up and he didn't want to deal with the train schedule, so I picked him up."

She ruffled Spencer's hair. "Is momma bear gonna have to fetch you some ice for that pesky knee?" she asked, stepping into the elevator.

He smiled, shaking his head. "It'll be fine."

The best part of Garcia knowing about their arrangement was how well she played along with them not being together. Anytime somebody suggested it, or thought there was something going on with them, she quickly shot it down, pointing out that Spencer would never allow himself to be in a relationship with someone in the bureau, and that Derek once told Spencer he would never mess with someone who carries a gun. The exact wording had been 'woman', but nobody needed to know that.

"So where's my coffee this morning, hot stuff?"

"Oh, sugar," she started, patting his arm, "you don't need something like coffee when you have me, willing and waiting."

He smirked, shaking his head and walking out of the elevator when it stopped at their floor. "We'll see about that, gorgeous."

"As I said, willing and waiting. I'll be in my lair if you need me." She kissed her hand before patting Derek's cheek and then turned to Spencer. "Discussion of the newest Doctor Who over sandwiches?"

He nodded. "You bet."

She clapped her hands together excitedly and turned toward the hallway, walking to her lair and punching in the code.

Spencer walked to his desk and set down his coffee, then took off his bag and set it at his feet, sitting down.

"Had to come in with Derek this morning?" Emily asked, eyes still on her work.

"Yeah, last night I hurt my knee again and didn't want to chance the stairs to take the train."

"Smart move. The last thing we need is an agent out of order right now, especially considering we just had case files added on top of our case files."

He took a sip of his coffee. "Fantastic, just what we all love to see on a Monday morning."

"…Was that sarcasm from the great Doctor Reid?"

He smiled. "It might've been."

* * *

After lunch, Spencer returned to his desk and saw a notification on his computer. He leaned over his chair and clicked on it, seeing that it was an e-mail from Hotch. He raised an eyebrow as he read that Hotch wanted to see him in his office in twenty minutes. Noticing Derek's name also on the e-mail, he turned to him and taking note of the empty bullpen, cleared his throat.

"Do you know what this is about?" he asked, taking his seat.

Derek shook his head. "It could be about the Omaha case you helped me with?" he suggested. "Or he could be sending the two of us on a consult."

Spencer bit his lip to hide his smile at the thought and clicked the 'x' to cancel out of the email, before returning to his work.

When the twenty minutes were up, Spencer got up from his desk, walking to Hotch's office and sitting down in front of it. A minute later, Derek walked in and took the seat beside him. Hotch got up and closed the door, before returning to his desk and facing the two of them.

"…Is something wrong, Hotch?" Derek asked, leaning back in the seat.

"You could say that," he started, looking between the two of them. "Is there anything the two of you would like to tell me?"

Spencer thought to himself, before shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but I personally can't think of anything?"

Derek shook his head. "I can't either."

Hotch sighed, resting his hands on his desk. Spencer could tell that he was choosing his words carefully. "I need to ask a question, and get an honest answer from both of you."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"

He wrung his hands before looking at the two of them. "Another agent in the bureau saw the two of you last night at a restaurant, looking more than just friendly with each other. I need to know that you two aren't in a relationship that's more than just a friendship."

Spencer bit his lip and turned to Derek. He took a deep breath before looking at Hotch. "I can't say that," he said, practically a whisper.

"Morgan?"

Derek swallowed, shaking his head. "Neither can I."

Hotch wrung his hands again. "As you both know, there are strict rules about agents fraternizing with each other in the bureau, as it can cause problems within a team, which would, in turn, cause the team to fall apart."

"But it's not," Derek quickly defended. "I'm sorry we never told you, Hotch, but it's been over three years and this team has yet to have a problem. In fact, I'd say that this is a good thing for the team, because the two of us get along so well."

Spencer cleared his throat, straightening in his seat. "Several of today's most successful people met their spouses in the workplace, and none of them have ever been hindered on the job. We've kept an extremely low profile about this relationship, not to mention what Morgan already mentioned – that the team works well with the two of us together."

Spencer continued to throw out statistics of workplace relationships for another few minutes before Hotch put his hand up and looked at them with sad eyes. "You know I care for both of you, and have watched over you since you joined this team. I obviously want the best for you, and want you to be happy."

They exchanged a worried look before glancing back at Hotch.

"I tried talking to the director, and I wanted to pull strings for the two of you. I told him that you were two of the best agents the bureau has, and if you were in a relationship, you weren't letting it affect your work in the field. I didn't know the length of your relationship, but I attempted to tell him that no matter how long, this team still functioned to its full potential."

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat. "And I take it that didn't go well?"

He shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry, but it didn't. The director is requesting an immediate end to your relationship, but I was able to convince him to give you a week. I wish I could've done more for you two, but my hands are tied, and we can't bend the rules for anyone."

Derek nodded, sighing, and looked over at Spencer, who seemed to be frozen in his seat.

"Reid?" Hotch asked, concerned.

Spencer bit down on his lip. "I need to get some air," he whispered, getting up from Hotch's desk and walking to his own, grabbing his bag and walking out.

Derek ran a hand over his face, sighing. "And there's nothing in the rules-"

"I went through them over and over. I'm sorry, but as long as you two are on the same team, you can't be in a relationship."

He chewed on his cheek. "What if our position on the team changes? What if one of us chooses to be in another position and not a field agent, would that change anything, or would the director still-" he saw the look in Hotch's eyes and sighed. "Gotcha."

"I tried fighting for the two of you, Morgan. I wish I could've been more successful."

"It's not your fault, Hotch. I um, do I have permission to go check on him?"

He nodded. "Of course."

Derek got up, stepping out of Hotch's office and walking to his desk, picking up his keys.

"Hey, Morgan, what's up with Reid? He stormed out of Hotch's office and took off downstairs."

"I'm going to check on him right now," he explained, pulling on his jacket.

"What happened at your meeting? Is something wrong?"

He sighed. "I can't talk about it, but I'll let you know when he's okay. Fair?"

She nodded. "Good luck."

He zipped up his jacket before walking out of the bullpen and taking the stairs as fast as he could. He found Spencer not far from the front door, his head buried in Garcia's shoulder, crying.

She cupped her hands over Spencer's ears. "Derek, I go to the store to get a lemonade and come back to _this_? What the hell happened?"

He bit down on his lip. "Nothing good."

* * *

Garcia had talked them into coming back to her place, after she told Hotch she wasn't feeling well and needed to take the rest of the day to relax. Spencer stayed silent as Derek drove to her apartment, keeping his gaze out the window and trying not to get upset again. Any time Derek tried to talk to him, Spencer would lick his lips and shake his head, before taking a shaky breath and looking out the window again. He parked at Garcia's apartment building and turned to Spencer after unlocking the doors.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to. She just feels obligated to help, and I know that it's not the best idea in the world to refuse it-"

"There is no _help_ here, Derek," he snapped, wiping his eyes.

Derek sighed. "I know, but for all she did for us, could you humor her please?"

Wordlessly, Spencer got out, closing the door behind him and walking up the stairs, Derek behind him.

She held the door open and Spencer walked inside, sitting on the couch and pulling his knees to his chest.

"Can I get you a drink or something, sweetie?" she asked.

He quickly shook his head before resting it against his knees.

Garcia grabbed Derek by the arm, pulling him into the kitchen. "Let me ask again, and I want a straight answer this time. What the hell happened?"

He eyed Spencer, who was already tuned out of the conversation. "Hotch found out."

"Found out, what do you mean found o-" she gasped. "_How_?"

He shrugged. "Supposedly, an agent saw us together and reported it to the director."

"Who was it?"

"I don't know, but if I knew, you'd be getting his name and ruining his credit score for me."

"For you?" she scoffed. "I'd be doing it for me, for separating two of the most perfect people on the face of the earth."

He gave her a slight smile, leaning against the counter.

"So that's what the meeting was about?"

He nodded. "Hotch was with the director all morning, trying to find a way to fix this, but he can't make any exceptions to the rules."

"So what, it's over? Just like that?"

"Not just like that, no. Hotch gave us the week to end it."

She looked out at the couch and sighed. "How are you so strong right now when he's so… _that_?"

"One of us has to be strong for the other, and I can't break down in front of him."

She rubbed his back. "I'm going to make you two dinner tonight, whatever it is you're craving."

"We appreciate the gesture, but I think it's safe to say neither of us have much of an appetite, and what we're craving, we're not going to get."

"So there's nothing that can be done?"

He shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. "There's nothing Hotch can do to bend the rules, and apparently there's no loopholes for us to find."

"But Kevin and I-"

"Aren't on the same team, and therefore, your relationship isn't going to affect your work. Trust me, I thought about it."

She frowned. "Is there anything I can say or do to make him… un-that?"

"I don't think so, though I think you can get started on some lemon bars – they're his favorite and maybe they might get him to smile."

"You really are the greatest, Derek Morgan," she said, patting his arm, before digging through her cabinets.

He walked out to the living room and sat down beside Spencer, wrapping his arms around him. Spencer changed his position and leaned his head on Derek's shoulder, burying his head in the crook of his neck and sniffing. Derek bit down on his lip, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head, before pulling him as close to him as he could. Spencer looked up at him and Derek cupped his cheeks before wiping away the tears with his thumbs. He gave Derek a weak smile before blinking and cursing himself for crying again. All Derek could bring himself to do was place a soft kiss on his lips, before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a hug, never wanting to let go. Many things they didn't know, but of one thing they were certain: they had to make the most of this week, because it was going to be the last they'd have together.

_Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon. Why am I holding on? We knew this day would come. We knew it all along. How did it come so fast? _

They stayed for dinner at Garcia's that night, and she hoped she'd be able to get the two of them to talk about something – anything, really, to get their minds off the current situation. Unfortunately, the meal was relatively silent, except for a 'thank you' from Spencer, and a 'this looks great, Baby Girl' from Derek. After dinner, she attempted o get them to stay and talk, but neither of them were feeling like the best company. Instead, they politely declined. Derek took his keys out of his pocket and looked at Spencer, who simply nodded and got up, following him out of the apartment.

Once they arrived back at Derek's apartment, Derek let Clooney outside while Spencer sat on the couch, keeping to himself. When Derek came back inside, he sat beside Spencer.

"So," he started, clearing his throat, "what are we going to do?"

Spencer sniffed, sighing. "I don't know. I just know that I'm all cried out and probably couldn't produce another tear if my life depended on it."

"I think we should make the most of this week," Derek suggested.

"Why, so this whole situation can be even more heartbreaking?"

Derek sighed. "I don't know about you, Spencer, but I can't just walk away from this and pretend nothing ever happened. I'm going to need time to accept the fact that this is going to be over." He paused after saying the word they were both dreading and took a deep breath. "This is going to suck no matter how we go about it, and I don't think quitting cold turkey is the right thing to do here."

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat. "We're going to have to move my stuff back to my apartment," he started, biting down on his lip. "And this means no more nights spent together. Sleeping alone is going to bring back my nightmares."

Derek closed his eyes, sighing. "I'm sorry. This is my fault for suggesting that the two of us go out yesterday."

Spencer shook his head. "I'm the one who starting acting like we were a couple in the restaurant. It's my fault. Because of my stupidity, we're in this situation." He eyed Derek before looking back at his lap. "I'm so sorry."

"I am too." He ran his fingers through Spencer's hair. "What do you want to do this week? We have until Sunday before-" he trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"I want to remember how good it was. I want to focus on the good and not have to worry about what's to come." He pulled his arms into the sleeves of his sweater. "I don't want to think about what we have to do Sunday night. I just….I want this week to be about us."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He shrugged. "No matter what we do, it's going to hurt. I'd rather spend the next week happy and be miserable afterward, than have to constantly be miserable."

"I can agree with that." He rubbed Spencer's arm, kissing the top of his head. "Whatever you want, I'm up for."

Spencer sighed. "How are we going to do this?"

Derek shrugged. "I wish I had an answer."

"We've spent nearly every night together for three years, and now we're being forced to separate, and it's not fair. I understand it's the rules and regulations, but… can I go back in time and slap young David Rossi for making our relationship impossible."

"…And how is this Rossi's fault?"

"According to JJ, the rules are in place because of things he did back in the 70s with other agents. If he hadn't been, well, himself, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

Derek tilted Spencer's head up, kissing him softly. Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, pulling him closer. Neither of them had it in them to be upset anymore, so they just lived in the moment. Spencer slipped his hand down, gripping the bottom of hem of Derek's shirt.

He pulled back, looking at the smaller man. "Are you sure about this, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer nodded, pulling the shirt over Derek's head and straddling his lap, resting a hand on each of his cheeks and kissing him. He nipped at Derek's bottom lip and Derek smiled as he moved to his neck.

"Is this how you want to do this?" Derek asked, holding back a moan as Spencer bit down.

"Mhm," Spencer put simply, before looking up at him. "If I have to give this up, I'm going to make the most of it." He licked his lips, thinking to himself. "Bedroom?"

"That sounds like a great idea." Derek went to stand up, and Spencer wrapped his legs around his waist. "Can I help you?"

Spencer nodded. "I wasn't done," he put plainly, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck and kissing it.

Derek stood up and Spencer tightened his grip. He found it hard to keep quiet as Spencer continued to nip and suck on his skin.

He laid the smaller man on the bed and reached down to undo his pants, Spencer lifting his hips to give him better access. He moved from Derek's neck and wrapped his arms around his neck again, pulling him down and kissing him hungrily. Derek complied and undid the buttons on Spencer's shirt, attempting to slip it off his shoulders. Spencer only pulled back to shrug out of it, then resumed assaulting his lips.

Derek pulled back. "What do you want tonight, Spencer?" he asked.

Spencer caught his breath, looking up at him and biting down on his lip, thinking to himself. "I want you, tonight and every night."

"Are you sure? You're going to be sore-"

"And I don't give a damn." He wrapped a leg around Derek's waist, attempting to pull him closer. "Now can you hurry up?"

"That I think I can handle."

Later that night, Spencer curled up beside him, resting his head on his chest and sighing.

"Are you okay down there?" Derek asked, rubbing his arm.

Spencer nodded slightly. "As okay as I can be, though I feel there's definitely going to be a limp tomorrow."

Derek smiled to himself. "Then I guess you're going to need a ride to work in the morning?"

"Mhm. And maybe even some help in the shower in the morning."

Derek kissed the top of his head. "You can sleep, Pretty Boy. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Is that a promise?" he mumbled, eyes slipping closed.

Derek nodded. "That is most definitely a promise."

He felt Spencer fall asleep against him and sighed, the weight of the day's events finally hitting him. He wasn't going to cry, because that was the absolute last thing Spencer needed to see. He had to stay strong for him, no matter how much this situation hurt. He held Spencer in his arms and looked down at him. He wasn't sure how the person who had been everything to him for the past three years was going to go from that to being just a coworker, and it was definitely going to be a struggle for both of them.

* * *

Every single night that work week was spent together, and neither of them wanted to spend a single second away from each other. They didn't want the time to fly by, and wanted the week to last as long as possible. Unfortunately, before the two of them knew it, it was the weekend. Luckily for them, they'd be able to spend the whole weekend together. Unluckily, that meant on Monday morning, they would have to pretend that none of it ever happened.

On Saturday, the two of them packed up Spencer's things in Derek's apartment and took them to Spencer's, setting the boxes down by the door. Once that was done, it really started to sink in for them. They stayed quiet as they got back into the car, going back to Derek's apartment.

"Did you want to go back and unpack?" Derek asked, gripping the steering wheel.

Spencer quickly shook his head, watching out the window and sighing.

"What do you want for dinner tonight?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "I don't care, I'm not that hungry."

"We can order in, that way we don't have to go out anywhere and we can just stay together."

He swallowed. "We wouldn't be in this situation if we could just stay together."

"I'm trying here, Spencer. I want to make the most of this and you haven't exactly made it easy this week."

"I'm sorry, Derek, but I'm not exactly in the mood to be overly pleasant, especially considering the circumstances. You've been staying strong, and I commend you for that, but I'm not you. I may be great at compartmentalizing, but I can't just pretend this didn't happen come Monday morning." He reached up, wiping his eyes. "I can't sleep in your bed, wake up, get dressed, and go to work as if we never had anything. I can't sit in a desk next to you every single day, and sit next to you on the jet, and maybe even share a room with you and pretend _this_ didn't happen."

Derek parked the car in front of his place, sighing. "This isn't easy for me either, Spencer."

"Then why have I cried _fourteen_ times this week and I haven't seen you upset _once_?"

"Because I love you, and you seeing me upset is only going to make you more upset, and I can't do that to you. Believe me, Spencer, this is killing me inside, and it's the worst pain I can remember. After this is over, I don't want you to remember me upset. I want you to remember me happy to be with you."

Spencer exhaled, reaching up and wiping his eyes. "How are we going to do this? Pretending this never existed?"

"I have no idea," Derek said honestly, clearing his throat. "But I want to make a pact."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"Today, we get all of _this_ out of our system. Being upset, the tears, the worry – today, we get it out, and tomorrow, it doesn't exist. I'm not going to let this end on a sad note. If we allow ourselves to be upset today, tomorrow can just be about us being happy together. Is that okay with you?"

Spencer nodded. "It's more than okay with me. And I'm sorry."

Derek leaned over, kissing his forehead. "Me too."

That night, the two of them were able to put everything out on the table, talking about their frustration and anger about the situation. At one point, Derek took his hand, leading him down to the basement.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow and turning on the light as he followed him down the stairs.

"I'm giving you a way to work off your aggression."

"And how is that?

He held out his boxing gloves to Spencer. "Put those on."

Spencer put on the gloves. "And why am I doing this?"

"Because you're extremely pissed off, and I'm not having an angry Spencer Reid in bed with me tonight." He pointed to his punching bag. "You're going to punch that until your heart's content."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "You're serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"And how do you work off your aggression?"

"My trips to the gym at lunch. I've been running miles on the treadmill and lifting twice what I usually do."

Spencer looked at him. "Seriously?"

"Yes, now stop talking and start punching." He held the bag in place. "Go."

Spencer took a deep breath before punching the bag repeatedly, with all the force he could. Derek found it hard to keep his footing and did his best to keep the bag held in place for him. Sometime later, Spencer ripped off the gloves, throwing them down on the ground and sighing.

"You okay there, tiger?" Derek asked, stepping toward him.

Spencer walked over, burying his head in Derek's shoulder, taking a few deep breaths the best he could, and finally crying against his shirt.

Derek felt the warm, wet spot on his shoulder and sighed, swallowing and rubbing Spencer's back. "It's okay, Spencer. I've got you." He exhaled, rubbing his back with one hand and running his hand over Spencer's head with the other. "I'm right here, I've got you."

Once Spencer had calmed down, Derek brought them upstairs. He ran Spencer a bath and set a pair of pajamas on the bathroom counter for him. Spencer stepped into the bathroom, arms crossed.

"I'm sorry."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "For what? For being upset about being screwed over? Believe me, so am I, and it's nothing to apologize for."

He sighed. "I guess I'm sorry for being so visual about how upset I am. You're much better at compartmentalizing here than I am with this whole situation-"

Derek mock laughed. "I am so far from great at compartmentalizing this. In case you didn't notice, that punching bag has quite a few dents, and I had to move its position three times, not to mention I broke one of the treadmills at the gym running too hard. Believe me when I say this sucks for me too." He knelt down, turning the water off. "Bath's all set for you."

"…You're not joining me?"

"Would you like me to?"

Spencer nodded slightly as he stripped down and stepped into the bathtub, sitting down and leaning back. Derek got in not long after, slipping in behind Spencer and wrapping his arms around him, kissing the back of his head.

"On Monday-" Spencer started, chewing on his cheek.

Derek shook his head, putting a hand over Spencer's mouth. "We're not talking about it."

"But-"

He shook his head, cupping his hand. "We're not talking about it," he repeated. He kissed Spencer's forehead. "Tonight, we have this. Tomorrow, we have each other, and we'll worry about Monday when it comes."

When Spencer nodded, Derek moved his hand, before wrapping his arms around the smaller man. He didn't want to talk about Monday and make Spencer upset again, but he also didn't want to talk about it and let Spencer see him upset for the first time through this whole thing.

_This is our last night but it's late, and I'm trying not to sleep 'cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away._

The next day, Derek made it his mission to keep their minds off of what tomorrow was going to bring. He made them breakfast and they sat together reading the paper, like it was any other morning for them. He didn't want to say anything to set Spencer off, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle seeing Spencer cry again. The afternoon was spent on the couch, watching TV and movies together. Before either of them knew it, it was already night time.

Derek bit down on his lip, turning to face Spencer. Without a word, Spencer leaned in, kissing him. He threaded a hand in Spencer's hair, pulling slightly. Spencer moaned into his mouth, reaching for Derek's belt and pulling it off. He arched his hips, allowing Spencer to get his belt and pants off with ease. He felt tears hit his cheeks and looked to see Spencer crying again. Not wanting to see him upset, he closed his eyes, sighing, allowing Spencer to take the reins and make all the moves: if his focus was on this, it was less time for him to withdraw back into his mind and overthink it, resulting in him crying.

Spencer pulled back just long enough to pull off his shirt, then crushed his lips against Derek's again. He ran a hand up Derek's bare chest, stopping at his shoulder and gripping it, before pulling back and looking him in the eyes.

"You okay?"

Spencer nodded, biting his lip. "Bedroom?"

He picked Spencer up around the waist, and he quickly wrapped his legs around Derek's waist, gripping him as tightly as he could. Walking to the bedroom, he laid Spencer down on the bed, climbing on top of him and kissing him, resting a hand on his cheek. This was one of the times where Spencer could enjoy taking it slow, not wanting the night to end for either of them.

Derek slipped off Spencer's boxers, smiling to himself when Spencer moaned at the contact and lifted his hips to give him easier access. Spencer also kept a grip on his biceps as Derek deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into the smaller man's mouth.

He reached down, gripping Derek through his boxers, which caused him to pull back, moaning.

"What are you doing, Pretty Boy?"

Spencer looked up at him, biting his lip. "I want you, Derek."

Derek sighed, licking his lips. Those had been the four words that started this for them, and it ]hurt that they were going to be four of the last words they said to each other in this way. He reached into his nightstand, taking out a bottle of lube. He swallowed the lump in his throat as Spencer reached down, pulling his boxers off and discarding them.

"You're sure?"

Spencer nodded, reaching up and running a hand over Derek's cheek, biting his lip. "I need you."

A while later, Derek removed himself from on top of Spencer before lying down beside him, biting his lip and running his hand through the smaller man's hair as he was coming down from his high.

"Derek?" Spencer asked, catching his breath.

"Yeah, Spencer?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair before stroking his cheek.

He sighed. "Can we take a shower?"

"I don't have a problem with that." He kissed his cheek before walking to the bathroom, turning on the shower for them.

After their shower, Derek opted to change the sheets, so he could make their last night together as comfortable as possible. Spencer climbed onto the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Derek came in from walking Clooney and sat beside him, pulling the blankets up. Instinctively, Spencer moved closer, resting his head on Derek's shoulder.

"Are you okay down there?" Derek asked, threading a hand in his hair and running his fingers through it.

Spencer nodded slightly, biting his lip. "Tonight was perfect, thank you."

"Thank you too," Derek said, kissing the top of his head and sighing. Tonight wasn't going to be about getting upset, mainly because Derek wasn't going to allow it of himself, and Spencer didn't want Derek to see him upset.

"Can we talk?" Spencer asked him, looking up at him.

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

He shrugged. "Anything. I just want to hear your voice."

Derek looked at the clock and saw that it was already 10:30. He knew that neither of them wanted the night to end and just stay up as long as possible. He thought to himself before smiling. "Do you remember that time on the job, you said you'd never seen New York?"

Spencer nodded against his shoulder, giving him a smile. "And the next weekend we had off, you took me to New York, and showed me everything there was to see, by _your_ definition."

"Hey, hey, I took you to the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Central Park, _and_ the Empire State Building. What more could we have done?"

Spencer held up his fingers, counting off different museums and landmarks that would interest him.

"Okay, so I showed you everything there was to see by everybody else's standards, not genius standards."

"Then you nearly had us kicked out of the Empire State Building by 'trying to have a quickie' in a bathroom on the top floor."

Derek smirked. "And last I checked, you didn't try objecting."

He blushed, resting his head on his shoulder and biting his lip. "One thing I'm always going to remember?"

"What's that?" Derek stroked his head through his hair.

Spencer bit down on his lip, clearing his throat. "Coming clean to you, about my addiction and everything that really happened in the shed with Hankel." He glanced up at Derek before focusing on the comforter again. "You're the only person I ever told everything to, and that's including the doctor involved with my psychological evaluation afterward. You were ready to listen and help with my withdrawals, and I really appreciate that you were willing to do that for me."

"You can still talk to me about it, you know, when-" he trailed off, biting his lip, "just because this isn't going to exist, doesn't mean our friendship doesn't anymore. I will still always be here for you, no matter what."

Spencer cleared his throat again. "Likewise." He smiled, laughing to himself.

"What?"

"Do you remember that time I had just joined the team, I couldn't shoot my way out of a paper bag, and you told me that you were going to teach me hand-to-hand combat, but instead, you brought me to your apartment for a few drinks to celebrate me making it to the team, and then forced me to listen to Nas on repeat?"

"Come on, you enjoyed it."

"Yes, because you were ready to call me ignorant."

Derek scoffed. "I was not."

"And I quote, Derek Morgan, 'anybody who can't quote Illmatic is ignorant'," he said, putting up the air quotes.

"And now you can, and it's pretty funny to watch."

Spencer swatted at his chest, smiling.

"What about that time I threatened to smack you in front of a crowd of people in L.A.?"

"You wouldn't have done it."

"And why wouldn't I?"

Spencer held up a finger. "Because you wouldn't want to hurt me, no matter what it was."

Derek conceded, shrugging. "You're right."

"And I also remember me asking you if it was hard to be normal for once in your life."

"And I remember telling you later that night, normal is very overrated, because you wouldn't be able to handle somebody normal in a relationship."

He smirked, laughing softly and kissing the top of Spencer's head.

They weren't going to let this night get them upset, or leave this on a sour note. Instead, they decided to spend the night reminiscing on their years together, before and after establishing a relationship. They were going to tell stories and laugh and smile and enjoy each other's company, since it was their last opportunity to do so in this capacity. They went through their years at the BAU together, including cases and times together in the bullpen, cracking jokes with each other.

"Do you remember," Spencer said after a while, lacing his fingers with Derek's, "when you actually let your feelings be known for the first time?"

Derek smiled, nodding. "I was nervous as hell. It was after the case in New Orleans, when you were struggling. I told you I wanted to help you with your struggles and pull you out of that dark place, because you deserved better than that, and you always would."

Spencer smiled to himself, squeezing his hand. "Is there going to be somebody else, Derek?" he asked, practically a whisper.

Derek took a deep breath, exhaling and shaking his head. "There never will be," he answered honestly, "because there isn't another Spencer Reid out there."

Spencer bit his lip before lying down, pulling Derek along with him and resting his head on his chest.

_And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close. 'Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, but tonight I need to hold you so close._

Derek pulled him closer to him, kissing the top of his head. He wrapped his arm around the smaller man and allowed him to cuddle up with him. He could feel Spencer start slipping and sighed, looking down at him.

"You can sleep, Spencer," he whispered.

Spencer shook his head slightly. "If I sleep this is over," he mumbled, "and I don't want this to be over."

Derek sympathized with him, wanting the same thing.

"Waking up means waking up in a world where there is no longer a Spencer and Derek, and there's only a Reid and Morgan, who are occasionally paired up on cases, and work in the same bullpen. It means that I no longer have someone who loves me as much as I love him, and that I have to live every day of my life, cursing myself for getting caught."

He bit down on his lip, kissing Spencer's forehead and pulling him closer. "Tomorrow comes with a lot of baggage, and a lot of pain, but we just need to remember tonight and know that it was as good as it could get."

Spencer nodded slightly, clinging onto Derek, as if to keep him with him as long as he could.

They stayed up for a few more hours, talking to each other about anything and everything that came to mind, including past cases and outings the team had together.

"And do you remember your sad attempt at using chopsticks?"

Spencer rolled his eyes, yawning. "It's a skill set I've yet to acquire, no matter how many times you've attempted to teach it to me."

He smirked. "I remember at one point, you ordered food that wasn't rice and noodles, and opted to just stab it with the chopstick, pick it up, and eat it."

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Spencer asked, looking up at him.

"That it did." He kissed his forehead, rubbing his arm. "And you proved me wrong, because I bet you a date night that you couldn't eat with your chopsticks."

"And I did, just not in the traditional sense. I _believe_ I used that date night to take you to a silent movie and dinner."

"And I believe I fell asleep and you kept flicking me in the head until I woke up."

Spencer shrugged. "You wouldn't, and I had to keep you from snoring."

Derek smiled, laughing to himself. "I guess so. I think that was the night you first said I love you."

Spencer bit down on his lip, clearing his throat. "Derek?"

"Yeah, Spencer?"

He sighed. "I love you." He glanced up at him. "I always will."

Derek gave him a weak smile. "I'll always love you too, Pretty Boy."

Derek started telling a story and looked down to see Spencer had fallen asleep against him. He didn't want to wake the smaller man so he sighed, pulling the blankets over them. He curled up, wrapping his arms around Spencer as tightly as he could without suffocating him. Spencer made a satisfied noise in his sleep and moved closer to him, and as he did that, Derek breathed in his scent. He exhaled, wondering if this break-up was ever going to be easy for them.

_Here I am staring at your perfection in my arms, so beautiful. The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out. Somebody slow it down. This is way too hard, cause I know when the sun comes up, I will leave. This is my last glance that will soon be memory._

He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was already 3:00 in the morning. He kept a hold on Spencer, looking down at him sleeping against his chest. There was a heavy feeling in his gut, letting him know that this was, in fact, the end of their relationship. He would be spending their last few hours together looking down at him sleeping. One thing he always loved was watching him sleep: he always looked so content and so comfortable, as if he belonged in Derek's arms all along. He wasn't sure how the two of them would sleep once they had to go their separate ways, because Spencer couldn't sleep without hearing Derek's breathing, and Derek couldn't sleep without having a hold on Spencer. It had become their routine and their way of life over the past three years, and it wasn't something they'd be able to change easily.

There was one point in the night, Spencer shifted slightly, momentarily waking up and looking up at Derek.

"Go back to sleep, Pretty Boy," he whispered, kissing his forehead and rubbing his back. "I'm not going anywhere tonight, I promise."

"You sure?" Spencer mumbled, sitting up.

"I'm positive. I'll be here all night."

Spencer blinked a few times, registering his surroundings, before curling up beside Derek and drifting off again. Derek heard his breathing even out and sighed, screwing his eyes shut.

Now was not the time to get upset, considering he had been able to stay strong for Spencer for so long. He took a few shaky breaths before looking down at Spencer, thankful that he was still fast asleep. Usually when Spencer would fall asleep, he'd stay like that until the morning – he could only hope this was one of those nights. Before Derek knew it, he no longer had control over the situation, and he blinked back his first tears. Cursing himself he sniffed, reaching up and wiping his eyes, sighing. He had always felt protective over Spencer, wanting the best for him and always wanting him to be safe and comfortable. To be completely honest, he would never have a sense of Spencer being safe again if he wasn't allowed to be in his arms.

He finally let himself go, crying like Spencer had so many times this week. He did his best to keep calm, but was failing himself miserably. For the first time in as long as he could remember, Derek cried his heart out, keeping his grip on Spencer's arm as the truth finally sunk in for him.

Once he was able to collect himself, he wiped his eyes again, swallowing the lump that had grown in his throat. He looked down to see Spencer, still fast asleep, and changed his position, so he was on his side as well, facing him. He wrapped an arm around the smaller man, rubbing his back and placing a kiss on the top of his head. All along, he'd hoped he could be strong and keep a straight face, not letting this get to him, but unfortunately, he hit his breaking point, and it was hard. He continued to caress the smaller man's face, as if he'd never see it again. He took in every feature, every freckle, every scar, not wanting to forget a single part of him. Yes, he'd be looking at him on a daily basis, but he'd never be allowed to look at him this way again. He watched the beautiful sleeping man beside him, as he inhaled and exhaled, completely relaxed. Derek knew that he wasn't going to sleep tonight, so he kept his gaze on Spencer, never wanting to stop looking at him like this.

_And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close. 'Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, but tonight I need to hold you so close._

Derek knew he was reaching the point of an all-nighter when he saw the sky starting to brighten up outside. He ran his fingers through the smaller man's hair as he watched him sleep. Clooney had run in and jumped up on the bed, curling up at their feet. Derek smiled slightly, wondering if Clooney had realized the change that was to come, and wanted to know if Clooney was going to miss having him around too. He moved his attention to the dog for a few minutes, until he'd fallen asleep, then shifted his attention back to Spencer. He was going to miss him sleeping beside him every single night. It wasn't just the sex he was going to miss – it was the cuddling, the conversations, the dates, and even the small talk they exchanged in the car.

There were no longer going to be stolen kisses in the car on the drive to work, nor would there be quiet nights spent together, cuddling for a few hours when they were on cases. They probably wouldn't be allowed to spend much time alone for a few months, because the director wouldn't want them to. It would probably be a while before they were paired up together, considering their situation. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle watching Spencer pair off with other people on the team – he knew there was no relationship there, but it was going to hurt to see, nonetheless.

He didn't know that morning had come until the sun started to shine in through the windows. He cursed the sunlight, realizing that he had, in fact, stayed up all night looking at the sleeping figure of Spencer Reid beside him. Given the opportunity to go back, he wouldn't have changed a single thing he had done that night. In fact, given the opportunity, he wouldn't' change a single damn thing about their whole relationship. Even though their relationship had been forbidden by their job, it was one of the best experiences of his life. If he had been told when he had joined the BAU that he would be falling for the scrawny kid he was forced to teach hand-to-hand combat to, he would've laughed directly in that person's face. However, now, he couldn't imagine never having had him in the first place.

If it were any other morning, Derek would already be awake, going for his morning run, working out, and putting on the coffee. Considering this morning was much different than any other, he vowed to stay in bed until Spencer finally woke up. He had promised him the night before, and he wasn't going to be the type of person to break a promise, especially a promise that would be his last in the relationship. This relationship had to end on a positive note for the two of them, and he could only hope that last night could be just that.

_I never want it to stop, because I don't wanna start all over, start all over. I was afraid of the dark, but now it's all that I want, all that I want, all that I want._

Spencer started stirring about an hour later. He buried his head in Derek's chest before taking a deep breath and sighing, looking up at him. "You stayed."

Derek nodded, running his fingers through Spencer's hair. "I always keep my promises to my Pretty Boy."

Spencer smiled slightly, chewing on his lip and sitting up. "About last night, Derek-"

"What about it?"

He cleared his throat. "It was perfect, thank you."

Derek smiled. "Thank you, too. Do you want coffee?"

Spencer nodded.

"Then you're going to have to let go of me."

Spencer blushed slightly, before letting go of him. Derek leaned over, kissing his forehead, before getting out of bed and walking out to the kitchen. He put on a pot of coffee and grabbed the morning paper, setting it on the table in front of their coffee mugs.

Spencer came out of the bedroom a few minutes later, fully dressed for work. He set his go-bag beside the door and sat across from Derek, as a cup of coffee was poured for him and the sugar bowl was set down in front of him. Spencer smiled appreciatively, putting the sugar into his coffee and stirring it before taking a sip. After Spencer picked out the parts of the newspaper he wanted, Derek grabbed the sports section, reading it as they ate their breakfast in silence.

Once Derek was ready for work, he grabbed his car keys, putting them into his pocket, and pulled on his boots, tying them. He looked around and saw Spencer in the backyard, walking Clooney around. Not long after, he squatted down beside the dog, scratching his stomach and behind his ears. Derek knew that this was Spencer's goodbye to the dog, and didn't want to interrupt. He sat on the couch in the living room, peeking over the back and watching Spencer run around with the dog and play with him one last time. Derek remembered the first time he'd brought Spencer back to his place: he didn't want anything to do with the dog because of the supposed 'Reid effect'. If that Spencer could see this one, he would be pleasantly surprised.

The back door opened soon after and Clooney ran in, Spencer behind him. After giving the dog a treat, Spencer picked up his messenger bag and his go-bag, putting them over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that," he said, turning to face Derek. "I just-"

"I know what you were doing, and it's fine." He put his wallet into his pocket. "Do you want to drive in, or-"

"I don't think that would be the best idea, considering," Spencer said, shrugging. "But if I could get a ride to the train station?"

"Consider it done."

The drive to the train station had been relatively quiet, until Derek parked the car. Neither of them were sure of what to say to the other, as last night had definitely been their last together, and the second they stepped into work, there would no longer be a 'them'. He unbuckled his seatbelt, sighing and leaning back.

Spencer turned to face him. "Can we still talk?"

"Of course. Not being together in that sense doesn't mean they can take away our friendship."

Spencer smiled slightly, licking his lips and thinking. "Derek?"

"Hm?"

"Can I get one last kiss?" Spencer requested.

Derek took a deep breath, nodding, and Spencer undid his own seatbelt, sliding over and wrapping his arms around Derek's neck. Before Derek could say anything, Spencer pulled him in, kissing him with everything he had in him. Derek ran his fingers through Spencer's hair one last time, enjoying the texture and committing it to memory. Neither of them wanted to pull back, but eventually, Spencer did, biting his lip.

"Thank you."

"Thank you too."

Spencer smirked, picking up his bags and getting out of the car, putting the bags on his shoulder. He tapped the window and Derek rolled it down.

"What is it?"

Spencer chewed on his lip, trying to think of the right thing to say, but only one thing came to mind. "Goodbye, Derek." He tapped the door nervously with his fingers. "I love you."

Derek exhaled. "Goodbye, Spencer, I love you too."

* * *

There were several points in his life that were painful, but nothing would ever compare to today. It hurt to watch Spencer walking away, knowing he'd have to see him again soon and pretend nothing happened. It hurt to drive in alone, occasionally glancing over at the seat that had become Spencer's over the last few years. What especially hurt was walking into that bullpen, seeing Spencer diligently working, and knowing that tonight, he wouldn't be able to wrap his arms around the smaller man. Hotch looked at him as he walked in, and without a word, Derek gave him a nod, before slipping into his seat and grabbing his first case file, looking through as if it wasn't killing him inside to never tell Spencer Reid he loved him again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry for any feels that this may have caused.


	2. Author's Note

For those who were less than happy with the ending of this and how abrupt it was, there **is** a sequel!

Look for it soon - it's based on the song 'Love Somebody' also by Maroon 5.


End file.
